Introduction Distresses related to depressive conditions in men have not been sufficiently acknowledged, and yet less studied. The difference between distress and its attention is originated in factors such as a rigid and dual classification of the problem, a false conception that it is a <<women's problem>>, and the social stigma that leads men to accept and face negative emotional states that affect their life quality. This article shows the results of a qualitative study which sought to uncover the social construction of distress from a gender approach and to deepen the understanding about the way men live it and exteriorize it. The concept of loss was taken as a methodological strategy throughout the study to access the male distress experiences, considering that, before an emotionally meaningful loss or an unfavorable event, individuals may react using those experiences. Method Four adult men participated in the study; they were selected using an intensive intentional sampling strategy. We carefully selected only a few cases, seeking to characterize the object of study and to obtain profound information based on reality; they were males who had suffered an important loss. They received a detailed explanation of the study and its objectives, voluntarily accepted to participate and allowed the recording of the interviews. Confidentiality and anonymity were guaranteed. The information was gathered by means of in depth interviews and a thematic guide. We developed categories of analysis from the guide and the study objectives to classify data. Categories were grouped according to their meanings and they generated subcategories that allowed a deeper and more precise analysis. Results The analysis focused on the experiences of four men: Manuel (30 years old), Oscar (36), José (40), and Rodrigo (40). They lived in Mexico City. Manuel and Rodrigo completed high school education, while Oscar and José obtained a college degree. They had different marital status: Oscar is single, Rodrigo is a widower, José is separated from his wife, and Manuel lived together with his girlfriend. Their most important and emotionally meaningful losses, which had caused distress, are described as well as the relationship these had with other aspects of their masculine subjectivity, such as sexuality, the body, violence, sports and work. Loss of couple. Losing the couple was one of the most important experiences the four men lived. This had common causes: psychological and physical violence, cheating, and sexual dissatisfaction. Manuel and Rodrigo spoke about extremely violent episodes where they were beaten-up by their fathers and schoolmates during childhood, followed by brawls during youth as a way of gaining respect. They also said they later reproduced this violence in their relationships with women. Both were jealous and controlling men, but they used different ways to intimidate their couples. Manuel did not use physical, but psychological violence. Instead of psychologically controlling his couple, Rodrigo used to act violently against her. Different elements can be identified from the experience of these men, which entwine in the distress-gender-violence relationship: <<uncontrollable>> jealousy that triggers violence and using physical or psychological violence as a means for controlling and subordinating the couple. Once they committed and act of violence, they experienced guilt and fear of neglecting that lead them to the rarely kept promise of never doing it again. These events are usually minimized, naturalized, and hardly acknowledged. In the case of cheating, it is important to consider the context where breaking-up takes place, since it is necessary to incorporate other relevant elements of masculine subjectivity: the relationship with the body, the practice of sexuality, the forced heterosexuality, and the continuous evaluation of manhood through social pressure from other men (father, brothers, uncles, and friends). Manuel's experience represents an example of this, because his link with sports and the fitness world allowed him to model his body in order to keep an appealing figure for women and a vehicle for socializing with other men that had similar interests. Being a part of this fellowship allowed Manuel to become a personal trainer and to have several affairs while he was living together with his couple. He said his interest in women and the constant cheating had four basic reasons: the context where fitness takes place, living together for a long time with the same person, feeling sexually unsatisfied, and the realization that her partner showed little interest at home and in doing housework. Thus, in the relationship distress-gender-cheating, when she finds out about him cheating and decides to break-up with him and she leaves him, become the causes on Manuel's distress. José told that problems in his sexual life caused the end of his relationship. He lost his interest in sex and ceased contact with his wife for five or six years because on a genital infection. He also had diabetes since his youth, which also contributed to his lack of interest in sex. José was reluctant to seek medical or psychological help, so his wife decided not to stay with him anymore. Then he reacted with sorrow, impotence, and anger, feelings he considered as a depressive phase. Loss of health. The loss of health could be the result of a chronic illness or a severe injury. It was a distress generating experience for two of them, which had an important impact on their masculine identity in two basic axes: the body and the sexual life. The experiences of José and Manuel allow recognizing the difficulty that men face when they try to accept and admit their own illness and vulnerability, as well as their reticence for taking care of their bodies and health. José said his first painful event was when he was diagnosed with the diabetes at age 25; it was a total self-image change. <<I was not normal anymore, I became a sick man>> who had to take medication for life. The most traumatic situation Manual had lived was when one of his girlfriends stabbed him in his heart during a fight. This changed the meaning of his life and body; he was downhearted for seven years, affecting his work and his social and sexual life. The origin of distress is beyond losing a couple or health in these cases, because, deep down this distress-health-gender relationship, the problem is in losing the ability to fight or in stopping being sexually active, and therefore in not being able to sustain the gender based commands. Loss of job. Oscar talked about one of this distress generating experiences. Even though he considered himself a competent architect, he had not reached a position where he could get enough social success and economic balance. His story offers the possibility of understanding the meaning of a well-paid job in the life of men: the notion of value as a self-reference, the illusion of self-nomination as someone different and unique, the possibility of recognition and appreciation from others, and the money and power. These elements interact to structure what seams to be one of the most important axes for masculine identity. Because when men cannot enter into the working world, they face crisis and distress periods, which in turn have negative repercussions on their gender identity. Male expressions before losses. There were some fundamental physical expressions of distress: muscular pain, difficult in sleeping, laziness, and untidy appearance. The most frequent emotional expressions included sadness, anger, rage, and vindictive impulses. Other manifestations were more related to the way they have learned to <<master their emotions>> by repressing their feelings: not to cry, not to be vulnerable before others, not to show any feelings, and to endure pain.
Introducción Los malestares asociados con estados depresivos en los hombres han sido poco reconocidos y aún menos abordados. Esta diferencia entre el malestar y su atención se origina en factores como una clasificación rígida y dual del padecimiento, la falsa concepción de que es un problema sólo de mujeres y el estigma social que dificulta que el hombre acepte y enfrente estados de ánimo negativos que afectan su calidad de vida. En este artículo presentamos un estudio de corte cualitativo que desde la perspectiva comprensiva-interpretativa y el enfoque de género pretendió desentrañar la construcción social del malestar, con el fin de profundizar en el entendimiento de la forma en que los hombres manifiestan y viven este malestar. Método El estudio se llevó a cabo con cuatro varones adultos y para seleccionarlos se utilizó la estrategia de muestreo intencional intensivo. Se buscó seleccionar cuidadosamente pocos casos que pudieran caracterizar al objeto de estudio. Se seleccionaron varones que hubieran vivido una pérdida importante, a los cuales se les dio una explicación detallada del estudio y de sus objetivos. Se llevaron a cabo entrevistas en profundidad y se recopiló la información por medio de una guía temática. Se elaboraron categorías de análisis para clasificar la información a partir de esta guía y los objetivos del estudio. Estas categorías se agruparon de acuerdo con sus significados y generaron otras subcategorías de análisis, las cuales permitieron, a su vez, realizar un análisis más preciso de la información. Resultados El análisis se centró en las vivencias de cuatro varones: Manuel, de 30 años; Oscar, de 36; José, de 40 y Rodrigo, de 48, todos residentes de la Ciudad de México. Dos de ellos terminaron la preparatoria (Manuel y Rodrigo) y los otros dos estudiaron una licenciatura (Óscar y José). Su estado civil era heterogéneo: Óscar era soltero, Rodrigo era viudo, José era casado, pero estaba separado y Manuel vivía en unión libre. De todos ellos se describen las pérdidas más importantes que han originado su malestar y la relación que guardan con otros aspectos de la subjetividad masculina, como la sexualidad, el cuerpo, la violencia, el deporte y el trabajo. La pérdida de la pareja. Es una de las principales experiencias vividas por los cuatro varones entrevistados, en función de la cual se encontraron causas comunes de ruptura: la violencia física y psicológica de ellos hacia sus parejas, su infidelidad y la insatisfacción de la mujer en su vida sexual con su pareja. La pérdida de la salud. Ocasionada por alguna enfermedad crónica o alguna lesión grave. Como ya se preveía, ésta fue una experiencia que produjo malestar en dos de ellos (José y Manuel) y que tuvo un fuerte impacto en su identidad masculina, sobre todo en dos ejes importantes de la subjetividad: el cuerpo y la sexualidad. La pérdida del trabajo. El testimonio de Óscar permite comprender lo que significa el mundo laboral en la vida de los hombres. Sin embargo, cuando no pueden acceder al mundo del trabajo, los hombres enfrentan estados de crisis y malestar, con fuertes repercusiones en su identidad de género. Manifestaciones del malestar masculino ante las pérdidas. Aparecieron expresiones físicas como dolores musculares, problemas para conciliar el sueño, flojera y descuido en el arreglo personal. Las expresiones emocionales más frecuentes fueron los sentimientos de tristeza, enojo, ira y deseos de venganza. Otras manifestaciones estuvieron muy vinculadas con la forma en que aprendieron a <<dominar su vida emocional>>, como no llorar, no mostrarse vulnerables ante los demás, no exteriorizar los sentimientos y aguantar el dolor en general.
